Poland Blames Serbia for Ottoman Invasion.

Unexpectedly, during a ceremony honoring King Jan III Sobieski, who led the Polish army to victory against the Ottomans in 1683, the Polish Minister of Honor said that Serbia's defeat in the Battle of Kosovo back in 1389 was the reason Poland had to fight the Ottoman Empire almost 300 years later at Vienna.

"If Serbia had done their job at Kosovo, the Turks wouldn't have kept pushing into Europe," said the Minister of National Honor. "And Poland wouldn't have had to save the continent at Vienna."

Instead of just celebrating that ceremony, the event quickly turned into a history lesson with finger-pointing. After the declaration made by the Polish Minister of Honor, an angry, Polish man reportedly tried to throw garlic at a Serbian embassy staffer, yelling, “You let the Ottomans in, and probably the vampires too!”

A new government-funded school program is also being planned, called " Advanced Regret Studies: Who Let Us Down and When". The Ministry of Historical Accountability is also reportedly preparing a full “Late Medieval Failure Report,” expected to assign exact percentages of blame to Balkan nations for Ottoman expansion.

Serbia responded with confusion and frustration. "This is nonsense," said a Serbian government spokesperson. "We were literally fighting for our survival in 1389. We didn't exactly have time to think about Poland and their battles 300 years later."

Polish paramilitary organizations near the southern border are now participating in Operation Retro Revenge, which involves horseback drills and shouting old insults from a printed 15th-century pamphlet.

Whether this is real anger or just political theatre isn't clear. But in Poland, even medieval battles can suddenly become today's news.