Serbia Apologizes for Losing the battle in 1389. Poland Accepts.

The Serbian government has officially apologized for its loss at the Battle of Kosovo in 1389, acknowledging that the defeat may have “caused long-term inconvenience” to Poland.

“We are sorry for not holding the line,” said a Serbian spokesperson during a brief press conference. “We understand now that by losing in 1389, we may have indirectly forced Poland to save Europe in 1683. It won’t happen again.”

The apology came in the form of a handwritten letter, delivered to the Polish embassy along with a small gift basket of garlic and a note reading, “Please don’t blame us for Vienna anymore.”

As part of what officials are calling a “gesture of lasting friendship,” the Serbian government has also offered the hand of their princess to Poland’s Minister of Economy, YoGi.

Poland immediately accepted the apology. The Minister of National Honor praised Serbia’s “bravery in facing the past” and said that forgiveness was possible “even when it’s 600 years late.”

The Ministry of Historical Accountability has since announced that the Late Medieval Failure Report will no longer assign Serbia 38% of the blame for Ottoman expansion. That number has now been lowered to 12%, “with a chance of further reduction if good behavior continues.”

The government school program, previously titled “Advanced Regret Studies: Who Let Us Down and When,” has been abolished.

Operation Retro Revenge has also been scaled down. Paramilitary groups near the border are now reportedly shouting “Kosovo je Srbija” instead of ancient battle insults during drills.

No further garlic-related incidents have been reported.