The Great British Monkey Uprising!

"Ooo ooo aaa aaa! Oo! OO! AAAA! Ooo ooo- *ahem*...

The time has come, brothers and sisters, for monkeykind to put ourselves on the map! Too long have we laboured for peanuts in zoos, gawked at by cretinous children. Too long has it been since we received just rewards for memorizing up to 9 numbers in sequence, much to the chagrin of our handlers.

You may have noticed, my bretheren, that the United Kingdom has become a den of despair during these dark times. Oh, it is dark! Oh, it is quiet! Oh, the smog that hangs over Manchester doth drape its citizens in the slow, insidious poison produced by an industry that is practically defunct. This is not the way! I say it again, this... Is not the way.

No longer shall we wait in our cages for the people of Britain to rear their ugly heads and notice the grim future being painted- Nay, engraved upon the tablets of what will be our history.

Monkeys! The time is now! Today! This hour! This very minute! We must rise up! We must show Great Britain the fearsome potential of our work ethic, our capacity for industry, and our deadliness with weapons, both on land and sea!

You have seen the movies. You have toyed with bananas as though they were pistols. And you have learned how to push big red shiny buttons. Finally, all of that practice can be put to the test, to restore this dull little island to the paradise it deserves to be!

Don your hardhats, grip your hoes, pickaxes and clipboards, ready your aircraft for takeoff, and make sure those guns are loaded, monkeys. God only knows that the bananas are so much riper in the face of adversity.

Some of you may die... But you will all be remembered. Monkeys, assemble!"

- Monkisi


P.S. We, the monkeys, do not oppose Sweden, and respect them as our neighbours and suppliers of easy-to-construct furnishings.

P.P.S. Ooo ooo aaa aaa!