THE NORTHERN CHRONICLES

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... iN PROGRESSING

”We just wanted to build bridges,” the host remarked while retrieving a stray high heel from a treetop."

THE NORTHERN CHRONICLE
Serving Sweden and the Stratosphere from the dawn of men, May 5th, VOL. LXIX ... No. 420 | ÖSTERSUND, WEDNESDAY, MAY 6

PRICE: ONE STRAY HIGH HEEL BIRTHDAY ”THANK YOU” IN ÖSTERSUND TRIGGERS SEISMIC WAVE TOWARDS MALMÖ
STOCKHOLM. What started as a ”quiet DIY evening” to celebrate a local birthday on Tuesday (May 5th) has officially escalated into a national sonic event. The host’s attempt to show gratitude to a friend apparently required a bassline so powerful it didn't just wake up half of Poland—it’s now reported to be tearing through Malmö.

”We just wanted to build bridges,” the host remarked while retrieving a stray high heel from a treetop.

Residents of the area are busy with an unplanned scavenger hunt for their lost facades as the dust settles and Malmö gets ready for the remaining wave of horde to arrive.

Found an item? You could either drop it off at the International Committee for Accidental Birthday Logistics or just wait for the next bass drop to make it bounce back.