OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE TO DONNY T.

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OFFICIAL RESPONSE
OFFICE OF THE CHIEF IDEOLOGUE OF ORGANIZED ABSURDITY
Serbian National Front for Strategic Confusion

FROM: The Chief Ideologue of Organized Absurdity
ON BEHALF OF: The Patient People of Serbia
TO: Donald J. Trump, Liberator-in-Chief, Champion of Investors, Defender of the Green Bill
RE: Formal Reply to Allegations Concerning Foreign Investor Trust, Free Trade, Political Apprentices, and the Sacred Return

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Dear Comrade Donny: The Green Bill Has Spoken

Dear and most respected Comrade Donny,

In the sacred name of the Almighty Lord who moves the modern world — commonly known among humble believers as the green bill — we, the patient people of Serbia, feel morally obliged to address your concerns.

We understand, perhaps better than most nations, the mysterious movement of governments, shadows, resignations, sudden ideological conversions, televised loyalty, and political weather that changes faster than a spring.

Therefore, we wish to assure you: the situation is being observed with patience, dignity, and a level of mild confusion appropriate for the occasion.

The thieving fragments of the former government, having sensed the returning shadow of Vožd Nemanja, did what lesser men often do when history knocks on the door wearing expensive shoes.

They resigned.

Not out of weakness, of course.

Not out of fear.

But out of deep respect for destiny, polling stations, future television panels, and the sacred rhythm of political survival.

We are also fully aware of the righteous wrath unleashed by Vožd Nemanja upon the former Minister of Economy, whose tragic and deeply unholy decisions stood firmly against the doctrine of free trade.

And let it be known: free trade is not merely an economic principle.

It is a spiritual condition.

A divine arrangement between man, market, invoice, foreign investor, and the eternal movement of money from one pocket to another.

To stand against free trade is to stand against the green bill itself.

And the green bill, as history has shown us many times, is a patient god.

But not a forgiving one.

As for Vožd Nemanja, we have full confidence that he shall return all matters under control in a swift and decisive manner.

After all, he is a proven capitalist leader, businessman, open-minded individual, and a man who understands that power, like branding, must be consistent across all platforms.

Let us remind you that Government, economy, television, reality shows are not separate institutions.

They are merely different rooms in the same house.

And some men are simply born with the remote control.

For this reason, we wish him Godspeed — carried, if necessary, on the devil’s thunder.

We also wish to remind you, Comrade Donny, that the individuals currently moving across the political stage are not masters of the game.

No.

They are merely Apprentices.

Small contestants in a Reality show too great for them to comprehend.

They believe they are making decisions. They believe they are shaping history. They believe the cameras are there to record them.

But the wiser among us know the truth:

The script was already written.

And somewhere, behind a curtain made of campaign promises, economic reforms, patriotic slogans, and carefully selected background music, the green bill continues to whisper:

“Proceed.”

And so, dear Comrade Donny, do not be alarmed.

The former government may tremble.

The new government may rise.

The elections may arrive when destiny, institutions, and television schedules finally allow them.

But the sacred order remains untouched.

The market shall breathe.

The bill shall circulate.

The Apprentices shall learn.

The Tower shall be built.

If not, we will act. Our eyes are on the horizon.

The dice has been cast.

The green bill has spoken.